Sexy Fish has a new brunch menu and it’s pretty amazing. I went this weekend with a couple of friends and we tried just about everything on the menu. Drinks included. Because research. Obviously.
Let’s start from the begining. Sexy Fish is one of the new(ish) ‘it’ restaurants that people go to see and be seen. Sort of like Chiltern Firehouse. I think. Because I have actually been to CF. It’s about a four minute walk from Green Park station, on the side of Berkeley Square. There’s a few outside tables that’re great for people watching and lol’ing the girls working the exterior flowerwalls. Which I obviously worked like hell.
We were sat inside, on the corner of a red leather baguette seat that runs the length of the dining area. Happily, we were right next to an enormous open window, which helped marvellously with the whole natural light thang. My view was of the entire table area and door, which meant I could survey everybody else’s dining choices and pre-empt any food envy. Emily was sat facing the bar and a gigantic fish structure (of which there are many). And in fact, while I’m on the subject – yes there is a huge fish tank. It’s downstairs in the private dining room. I know this because I went looking. Obviously.
When we arrived, we were still sans the final member of our party (he’d misjudged how important brunch is to me and was running a casual 45 late. Tsk), so we held off on ordering main dishes and settled on some ‘snacks’ to do with our drinks (g&t for me, bloody martini for Emily). Note: snacks is a very generous term. Because really what we started with was an impressive table FULL of colourful dishes that left very little room for mains. But where there’s a will there’s a way, and all that..
I’d told our waitress that I was gluten-free pretty much as my bum hit my seat. After a few kitchen-based negotiations, we settled on just eliminating wheat (I’m not THAT sensitive to gluten and certainly not completely allergic so it seemed a shame to miss out on everything that had a whiff of soy sauce), which left me free to eat just about everything. Even the salt & pepper squid. Which I ordered two portions of in VERY quick succession.
We also had juicy chunks of watermelon with feta (served on ice cubes to keep it all super chill, which is SUCH a good idea), vegetable crackers, posh pork scratchings, and enough edamame beans to sink a ship. I am an edamame fiend so polished these off in record time, unbeknown to poor Emily who discovered the pods were empty the really hard way: by sticking one in her mouth. SOZ.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate Emily’s glass? Huge fish sculpture. Extremely heavy and cold which means you have to really leave it on the table and suck the life out of your straw. Which is a) funny to watch, and b) an easy way to ensure maximum drunkness really fast.
By the time Jeremy joined us we were three drinks in. Emily had switched to a Peach Martini, which she claimed was too drinkable so switched again to a champagne cocktail. I was still on the Hendricks and slimline, because I’ve just started monitoring my macros. Blah. And here came the fun bit: mains. Emily and Jeremy had Sexy Eggs (yes that’s what it’s called) with lobster, and I had steak tartare. Which. Was. In. Sane. And we all shared a duck salad, just incase we hadn’t ordered quite enough yet.
After a solid three-hours of pretty much non-stop eating and drinking, a swanks Merc pulled up outside. “That’ll be ours” I told Emily, who set about grabbing the driver’s attention to signal we’d be five to ten. Obviously it turned out not to be our ride. Ours was round the corner. Lol.
We shunned desert on the basis of sheer gluttony, but really the rice pudding was calling to me. And the cheescake. And the fruit platter. Oh man, I need to go back to explore a third course properly.
Brunch is served at the weekend, 11.30am-4.30pm.